Big thanks to Windermere Preparatory School for allowing Amy and I to host our 2nd annual Toys for Hope, new toy drive. All the toys collected go to homeless and at risk children, giving them a Christmas they deserve.
Windermere Prep offered their offices to be a drop-off between the 6-15th of December for anyone in the community who wanted to donate. As a result, we needed a truck and full size van to carry them off!
We are so grateful to the entire community for their generous hearts.
2016
For the last 18 years I have been in Marketing, and for the past 15 years it has revolved around the digital world. In 2003 I launched a digital marketing agency, and in 2006, I launched a social network. Professionally and personally, I have been tied to the digital world, and since the start of the 21st century, my life has felt like it has been in hyper drive. But why?
I assumed this had to do with me getting older as many people senior to me stated it comes with having children and aging. But then I met 18 year-old Noah at a volunteer project this weekend, who told me time for him seems to be flying by. That seemed crazy to me. At 18 years old, time was moving at a perfect pace and I’d give anything to have that back. Since my conversation with Noah, I’ve meditated on this thought and have come to a theory.
Three years ago I wrote a blog on rethinking boredom, pointing to the fact that boredom drives creativity and that technology has effectively eliminated the state of boredom. We turn on our devices the moment we feel it, and we are immediately distracted once engaged. But what does this have to do with speeding up time?
Everything.
Think about the days at work that seem to fly by. These are the days you hit the ground running the moment you arrive and the throttle doesn’t let up until you leave. Now think about a slower day at work. You start at 8am. Two hours later, it’s 8:07am.
Have you ever browsed on social media with no real purpose, played a video game, or binge watched a Netflix or HBO series? (I swear, GoT is only 15 minutes long) Time can cruise by pretty darn fast. I love my devices, I love how they connect me to others, and provide endless hours of entertainment….but it’s ridiculous how much time they can rob you if you’re not careful.
I believe technology is impacting the perception of time and I believe it is challenging my indulgence of it.
I believe strongly in raising future leaders who see giving as an important part of their leadership character. I felt inspired, as a parent of two boys, to share a bit of my story and what I have found to impact their behavior and character.
In 2008 I organized a “hotdogs for the homeless” event in downtown Detroit. At the time I was running a Detroit based social network and a few of my advertisers jumped at the opportunity to donate a bunch of hotdogs, water and supplies to grill and serve those in need.
We set up at St. John’s Church Detroit right next to Comerica Park on a Detroit Tigers game day. With a big grill and a group of volunteers we started grilling dogs and packing bags. The big memory for me that day was not just feeding the homeless, but watching my son, who was 5 years old.
To get the word out that we had food for those in need, we walked the streets with bags of food and hunted down the homeless. My son tagged along. With bags in hand, he took part in handing out the food and letting them know we had more food down at the church. After 20 minutes of walking around we headed back, and waited.
As people began to pour in, the demand got hot. I found manning the grill trying to keep up with the demand. The rule for the group was no more than 2 dogs and 2 waters per person. As I grilled I watched my son, Ethan, in the corner of my eye talking to a man in a wheelchair. It wasn’t long before I saw him shoving 4+ bags of food into the pocket of his chair. I smiled with joy – my son was righteously rebelling.
Having involved my children in volunteer work for 10 years, here are 4 tips I can offer to raising our future leaders who give back.
Providing them the opportunity to get in on the action is far more important than them seeing you do it. Don’t get me wrong, seeing you in action does far more than just telling them they should care for others, but allowing them to be a part of it builds their confidence and character. By choosing family friendly volunteer projects, you also can invite other families in the community to take part. Most parents will see the value in it and appreciate the fact you organized something that they and their kids can get involved in.
Since moving to Orlando in 2010, our family got involved with Matthew’s Hope, an organization here locally that doesn’t give handouts to the homeless, but provides counseling, health/medical, jobs, housing and many other forms of care to help rehabilitate those that want to get off the streets. At this time my second son was getting involved. While we were serving food to the homeless, who were working on houses, I asked my youngest to give one of the men a water. Out of shyness, he refused. A few minutes later, he asked if he could have some of the cookies – Frustrated, I told him that the food wasn’t for us, but for them. When he started to whine I told him to eat the cookie because I didn’t feel like battling anymore. Soon he was enjoying food with the homeless. I felt like an idiot, because that’s exactly what we should have been doing. Fast forward to the end of the day, he was working with others to pack to-go bags and has been a part of working with us since. That day was a big wake up call for me to see the homeless as not my “work” but as people like you and I who need human interaction more than being served.
One time projects are better than none, but molding a child’s character and leadership takes consistency. They need to see that giving is a way of life and is one of the most important roles as a leader. Consistency also allows them to find where they fit in. I recommend choosing something that your family can do once a month. Your kids may start out focusing on one area of that project, but later find themselves focusing on something else. As they get better at doing it, their confidence and ownership of the role will reap the benefits.
This is an interesting one. When our family goes on a serving opportunity we always bring the fun. This is just the way we’re wired. However, serving projects are often met with non-perfect weather, hard work, and a sacrifice of personal time. I don’t ever tell my kids it’s going to be fun, I focus on telling them we are there to care for others. That is the focus, and that is the belief we have as leaders to help. We can always make it fun, but the focus is giving.
Our current monthly project is providing 30 dinners for the homeless who come in once a week to Matthew’s Hope for lunch, counseling, haircuts, medical and more. We invite our community of friends to take part, and this last month, I decided to shoot a video to show what we do and encourage others to support the organization. Here is my family:
After serving Matthew’s Hope for 6 years I was invited to join the Board of Directors in 2016. I have never met a better organization that has proven to help the homeless get off the streets, and I am proud to serve alongside with my family, the homeless community in Orange County, FL.
There are some people that I’ve met that have shared their hesitancy to lead. Not because they’re incapable, but simply because it’s not their first instinct. Most choose not to lead because they don’t want to risk the chance of failing. They find it easier and more comfortable to blend in with the group.
Leadership is not always the person you call boss or coach. Leading isn’t a fancy title that gets printed on a card or added to your LinkedIn. There are plenty of people with those titles who fail to lead every day.
Leadership first starts with you and the daily decisions you make to take action. Choosing to show up and lead yourself is an inspiring characteristic all in itself.
While I’m stating the obvious here, it’s your attitude that goes a long way in bringing positive results. Have you ever noticed a negative person turning around a company or division? How many negative people do you see writing leadership books? While a positive attitude isn’t going to make you a leader, it’s simply the starting point to every day.
When I give my kids a task, I always tell them, “whatever you do, do it well.” While my kids have learned to hide their dislike for the chores I give them, the quality of their effort speaks loud enough. I can always tell when they don’t want to do something, simply by the quality of their work. Attitude shapes results.
A while ago, my friend Brian Chisholm was studying at the University of Michigan. At the time, he was taking a Japanese class and did two things that stood out. Brian and I have been friends for a while and I always found value in his ability to find humor in all things. During class the teacher asked all the students to write out sentences in Japanese. What could have been a boring task, Brian found a way to bring himself and his personality to the table. Brian’s ability to show emotion by simply drawing stick figures was always really good. Rather than writing out sentences like everyone else, he brought his humor and artistic talent and put together a comic that included his sentences in Japanese.
In another Instance, Brian showed up to class and the teacher went around to each student asking them to say something in Japanese. One of the students, who Brian enjoyed friendly mom-joke banter with, failed to do his work and couldn’t deliver. When it was Brian’s turn, he chose to tell a mom joke referencing the student who failed to prepare. The class erupted in laughter and the student was none the wiser.
These two stories have always stuck with me because they are perfect representations of bringing yourself to the table. While skills can be learned, there is only one you. By being you, and doing your job well, you will find success.
Time is something that flies by and yet most people don’t have the patience for. What we do every single day, matters. While the decisions and actions we take are not always groundbreaking or revolutionary, over time they will add up to the bigger picture. The same thing goes for the decisions and actions we choose not to take. For every step you choose not to take, the longer you will remain in that position.
I believe in actions before words. If you’re actions are steady and consistent your words will have more power. Walk blamelessly forward putting everything you have into what you want to become. In due time, your leadership will take place and you find confidence in the position.